Trials & Tribulations

This was my first time ever going through a court trial. It’s a lot like you see on TV I guess, only not as big or exciting. It won’t be on the news, but it’s pretty meaningful to us.

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The TPR trial started with bio-mom making a fuss because she supposedly hadn’t been able to get ahold of her lawyer. She talked to him before the trial started, so the judge was less than sympathetic. The judge explained the options to her again. She could surrender her rights and get 2 pictures and letters a year, plead guilty and go to disposition, or have a trial and risk no communication at all. She of course, chose a trial.

The caseworker gave her testimony first. She’s awesome and very thorough, so that part was great. Then they called the director of the place where Buddy used to go for visits. That part was horrible. The girl who did the initial evaluation for visits with bio-mom, and the girl who conducted the visits, no longer work there, so they subpoenaed this woman, whose testimony was not good and pretty inaccurate. I don’t know why they even had her testify.

Bio-mom’s lawyer never went to DSS to review the case file and was fumbly and awkward. It was painful to listen to him whenever he opened his mouth. He kept making mistakes & there would be an objection or the judge would have to keep him on track. I almost felt bad.

Bio-mom testified next and dug her own grave. She said several times that she knows she didn’t do any of the things she was required to do and missed many visits. She said that Buddy was taken out from under her unjustly and that caused her to turn to drugs and alcohol (not accurate, but trying to get sympathy I guess.) She said she couldn’t remember many of the details from the last year and a half because of her drug use. She just kept going on and on digging her hole deeper and deeper until the judge finally spoke up and said she really said enough and needed to stop talking.

Then it was over. Now we wait some more.

They also needed to hold a permanency hearing, so they just started it and it will resume in a couple of weeks. I guess that’s when the judge will give her decision. If she finds bio-mom guilty, then we go on to disposition in August to determine what is in the best interest of Buddy. Being adopted by us of course!

If bio-mom is smart, she will surrender her rights at the permanency hearing so she can at least get the pictures and letters. But I know she won’t. She’s stubborn and disillusioned. It’s too bad.

Well, we’re in the home stretch. I’ll keep you updated.

Hurry Up and Wait

I wrote this after last month’s court date, so here it is, better late than never.

We all filed into the court room with nervous anticipation of what the day could bring. Would we be celebrating the end of Buddy’s 18 months in foster care or disappointed when we’re strung out until another court date?

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When the judge asked the court appointed lawyer about bio-mom’s intentions, he commented that despite having sent her a letter at the jail, he received no response from her and had only met with his client moments before court. He was however, able to find out that she wants Buddy back when she gets out of jail in June.

I know bio-mom will not get Buddy back. It’s too late for that. I’ve been told numerous times that this is a really solid case. I also see her side of things and realize that the closer we get to her release date, the more she thinks she can get him back. Gone are the days of sentimentality surrounding the Christmas holiday and any hints to the possibility of surrender. The lawyer for DSS said that they would offer her a picture and a letter on the condition of a surrender, but had no incentives for her. The judge set up a pretrial date for April to give her one last chance to surrender. She also set aside two full days for the TPR hearing in May.

So, not surprisingly, we were strung out for more court dates. Yes, I’m desperately hoping for a surrender, but I will try not to keep my hopes up. The part that bothered me was actually before court even started. I like Buddy’s caseworker and lawyer. They’re probably among the best, however they are not without their faults. While waiting for court to start in the little waiting room, my husband and I are on pins and needles in anticipation of what the future holds with our little man. Buddy’s lawyer was more concerned with a criminal trial he had to get to and pick a jury for. The caseworker was shooting the breeze with the court police officer. I know it’s just another day for these guys. I’m sure that they have to distance themselves in order to keep sane. However, I couldn’t help but feel that it was all really unprofessional to do in front of us. We felt like nobody cared about Buddy. It was just another day for them.

My husband decided to call an adoption attorney. There are only two in our city that specifically deal with adoptions. I met the woman attorney twice before and wasn’t impressed. She fostered teenagers and basically just let them run the streets. She wasn’t in it to be a “mom.” The other attorney came highly recommended. However, I’m still not working, and the thought of having thousands of dollars in attorney fees just didn’t appeal to me. However, Hubby said he’d work all the overtime he had to, to make sure we had a voice. As it turns out, there is actually a grant available and the costs will be minimal if anything at all! This was good news.