Why?

I thought we had skipped over the “why?” stage because Buddy has been in the “what’s that?” Stage for at least 6 months now & I figured that pretty much covered it. Uh….no.

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The other day I hear my husband very patiently answer a half dozen why questions before he threw it the “because I said so!” Now it was my turn. Buddy will play with anything that has a character on it, it doesn’t matter if it’s a sticker, a pez dispenser or a plate. When he saw that he had a Spider-Man plate when his pancakes were finished he started to play with it. I told him no. “Why?” Buddy asks. Because it’s sticky. “Why?,” he retorts. Because we had maple syrup. “Why?” Because that’s what you put on pancakes. “Why?” This time I just stared at him. In a silly, mocking voice he says, “because I said so!” Ha!

So, I called my husband right up at work and said, “Guess what your son just said!” Now, whenever my husband gives that response it’s, “Because Mommy said so!” Gotta love it!

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Is There Time For a Hobby with a Toddler?

 

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My husband and I need to find new hobbies! We used to do things like go out to dinner, see movies and peruse garage and estate sales. Well, when you’ve had gastric bypass or lapband surgery and have a two-year old, those things aren’t so easy to do anymore.

Movies are totally out of the question. Buddy is too young to sit through an entire movie. We can do Pixar or Disney movies at home, but any non-cartoon movie would have to be put on after he’s asleep and we’d likely fall asleep watching it ourselves.

We can go out to eat, but my husband and I can only eat small portions and Buddy is in the midst of his terrible twos. Sports themed restaurants have a-million-and-one TVs and are way too over-stimulating for him to handle. Places that offer crayons, are just inviting him to color anything within reach and eventually throw them. He likes to play apps on my iphone, but if there isn’t wifi, he’s limited in what he can do and becomes frustrated.

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We have to cool it on the garage sales! Last week my husband, who is a nurse who visits people in their homes, was in the midst of a neighborhood-wide garage sale. He called me up to say there was an activity table that included a heliport, police station, post office and had bins underneath for only $25. I said we didn’t have the room for a big item like that. He insisted that it wasn’t much bigger than the blanket chest we currently had, so we could just put it in its place. I hesitantly agreed if we could pick it up the following day. Well, my husband’s dimension figuring was quite off. This thing was huge! Our dining room looks more like a playroom with a table in it now! We need to move just to get a house that will accommodate all of the toys we’ve accumulated. Hubby is not the only one to blame. I also got Buddy a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Dora & Diego and a farm play dough sets (Buddy playing with a dentist play dough kid above), a doctor’s kit and some books, while at the garage sale.

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So, what to do, what to do! I walk the dog. Chasing a toddler around takes up a good amount of my time (Super Bud is so fast, it’s hard to take his picture. See blur above!). I have tried crocheting, but can only do straight lines. I’m better at cooking than baking because I don’t like to measure. I haven’t had much luck with gardening. Hmmm, we’ll have to come up with something… maybe competitive thumb wrestling? LOL

What I do know is that there are only a few more weeks left of school and I’m really looking forward to dividing my time between the beach and the pool!

Photo Credit: http://christmassiblings.blogspot.com/2010/01/taking-back-monday-and-tuesday-and.html, Man vs. Himself: Three Killer Reasons to Twiddle Your Thumbs at Work

I Lost My Houseman! (sniff, sniff)

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Hubby went back to work this week. His six weeks of recovery time after gastric bypass surgery is up. It went by fast for me, so I’m sure that it flew by for him. While it was difficult taking care of Buddy mostly by myself (he had a weight lifting restriction), Hubby helped out around the house. I had my own personal houseman!

After Hubby started feeling a little better, he started doing a lot of the household chores that I would have been too exhausted to do. I would take the laundry down to the basement and he would wash it all. Buddy and I would dirty the dishes and he would wash them. Buddy and I would mess up the house and Hubby would pick up after us. It was awesome! He even organized the basement; something I wouldn’t have gotten to in a million years!

Mother’s Day was my last day to bask in the glory. I got was the opportunity to sleep in until 9am! Then I got hugs and kisses from Buddy and a sweet card, a double heart necklace from Buddy (and Daddy) and even a gift card from my furry “children.” Buddy even gave me a nice drawing of his hand prints with a poem from daycare. Then hubby preceded to clean the house, sweeping and mopping the floors.  I even took a nap. It was a wonderful day.

Now we are back to reality. It’s all good though. We can share the chores and get things done together. Work took it easy on him yesterday. Hopefully the rest of the week won’t do him in. I know that he still isn’t up to full speed yet, but he’s looking pretty svelte! He’s lost about 30 lbs. since the surgery (80 lbs. since starting the process). I’m really proud of him and also realizing I better start hitting the gym again, especially after eating a whole pint of Fro Yo yesterday! Oops!

Photo credit: Dale Foshe – Dogwood Photography / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

He’s The Cheese To My Macaroni

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I always thought that was the cutest line from the movie “Juno.” I even included it in my wedding vows three years ago when we got married. March 20 will be our anniversary and I’d like it to be nice. Well, we’ll at least have to do something nice on the weekend.

According to tradition, leather is the appropriate gift. I know he’d like a leather jacket, but with getting gastric bypass surgery next month, that would be an impossible gift size wise. Then I saw some cute his & her leather bracelets that you can personalize on Etsy. He’s not a big bracelet person though. Maybe a leather bound book by one of his favorite authors if I can find one for a reasonable price.

Another thing that I’d like to do is bake him a “True Love Cake.” I baked him this black forest-like cake (chocolate cake, almond frosting and cherry pie filling) for the first time when we were dating, and he went nuts for it. I haven’t made him one in a while, since I’m not really a baker, but that will be a nice treat. Then maybe my mom will watch Buddy, so we can go to his favorite restaurant and see a movie or something.

I’ve said it before, but I know he doesn’t hear it enough, my husband is wonderful! He is a great dad to Buddy and helps out immensely. He’s supportive through my ongoing struggles with my job and infertility. He’s my best friend and my love and I hope to have many more wonderful years with this great man!

Photo credit: Candida.Performa / Foter.com / CC BYIsn’t that the sweetest pic above? Love that lasts the test of time!

 

Band Aids Don’t Fix Things

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Our little man had to go to the clinic for his initial visit today. My husband took him out for pancakes beforehand, so he wouldn’t feel too bad about what was to come.

His birth mom is always invited to come, but she cancelled a home visit by the social worker, so we didn’t expect her to show up. Well, she did. As my husband was getting off the elevator, she ran in and snatched him up. My husband said she was lucky that he realized she must have been the mother because he was about ready to punch her lights out for grabbing his kid!

In the waiting room she kept trying to hug him and scoop him up, but he didn’t want anything to do with her and wouldn’t look at her. She showed him her latest tattoo on the back of her neck and her new piercings. She would shoot my husband occasional dirty looks as they waited to see the doctor.

The clinic has been pretty good to us so far, but they have waits sometimes that are ridiculous. My poor husband was there for 2 hours, causing him to be really behind with seeing his patients. Unfortunately, I used up all of my sick days with my last foster baby and his schedule has more flexibility.

Once they made it into the exam room, the doctor asked the mom why the baby was placed into foster care. She told her that she went into surgery and when she came back home her baby was gone. My husband did everything he could not to call her a liar to her face. He waited until after the visit to tell the social worker. Thankfully, the doctor saw right through her ruse and had already informed her. The doctor gave her a couple of band aids and said that she needed to cover up the “(track) marks” on her arms around the baby. She hesitantly complied. Then to top things off, the poor baby had to get shots and cried.

So, while it was good that mom came to the doctor’s appointment, she was clearly using, which is bad. The social worker informed her of the services that are available to her. We’ll see if she uses any of them. I would think that the judge would have made some things mandatory, but who knows. As I see it, she already has two strikes against her.

Photo credit: frotzed2 / Foter.com / CC BY-SA

Yes, I’m a Crazy Cat Lady, Get Over It!

christmas-tree-cat-styleWhen you look up Crazy Cat Lady online, I’m sure my picture is there. I started out innocently enough. When I got my first apartment out of college, I wanted some company, so I got a kitten. Well, 5 cats later, the title is starting to fit.

A stray cat had kittens in my Grandma’s wood pile. I helped find the kittens homes. One of them was a calico and reminded me of the cat I had when I was young. So, I had to have her to keep the other one company. You know the saying, “Cats are like potato chips, you can’t have just one!” Then a few years later, my other grandmother took in a stray cat that had kittens. So, I helped her find them homes. Well, the guy I was seeing at the time decided that he wanted one and who ended up with the cat when the relationship ended? Not him. A few years after that, a friend of mine had to move back home to Minnesota to take care of his elderly parents. I went with him to help him move. His cat had kittens and there was one left. His family had a farm and he was going to let the kitten live with the other barn cats. Well, after seeing the condition of these barn cats, I couldn’t leave the kitten there. So, yes, if you’re keeping track, that brought me up to 4 cats! Why can’t people just get their pets fixed!

When my husband and I decided to move in together after dating for a year, he said that I would have to leave 2 cats behind with my mom. My mom was only willing to take 1 cat. My husband also had a cat, so we were back up to 4. Then, when we moved into our house, a cat came walking in the front door one day. Apparently, the people who lived there before, left her behind. So, now we are up to 5 cats. I know what you’re thinking… that’s an insane number of cats in one house, but I’m a very clean person. So, it doesn’t smell like cat when you walk into my house. You don’t even see them half the time. There may be some pet hair, but that’s unavoidable.

I love my cats. I also have had a dog for about 5 years. They’re awesome company. They’re nonjudgmental and they’re low maintenance. They love unconditionally. Here is my fear. I had an aunt who never had kids. She had 7 miscarriages and was never able to go full term. She had cats and dogs that she doted on. They had birthday parties with cakes, party hats and presents. She had professional oil paintings made of them. They were her children. Then, when her last cat died and my uncle told her they were too old to care for any more pets, her health and mental status declined. She had no children to take care of her. We would take her food and plea with my uncle to get her some help or to get her another pet. Finally she was put into a nursing home where she died.

I would tease my husband before we started actively trying to conceive that he was turning into a crazy cat lady for telling pet stories to people. I didn’t want to end up like my poor aunt. Now that I’m in the process of my last IUI, I wonder if I will be like her after all. I don’t have birthday parties for my pets, but I dote on them. Now my first cat, the one who kept me company in my first apartment, is declining. He’s lost a lot of weight and he’s 15 years old. I don’t want to bring him to the vet because I don’t want to hear bad news. Yes, we’re still going on Saturday, the same day I’m getting inseminated again. Apparently I have good timing with these things.

I don’t care if I’m a crazy cat lady; he is my baby.

UPDATE: I ended up being inseminated on Monday instead of Saturday (Get results in 2 weeks on Feb. 25) and my cat will be okay. He has a tumor on his thyroid which can be regulated with medication. So hopefully he will be gaining weight and back to his old self in no time!

UPDATE 3/12/13: We put Tibby cat to rest yesterday. He was not getting any better, but was getting weaker and having a hard time eating and getting around. He was a good boy and I will miss him very much. He will always be my first baby.

Photo credit: aye_shamus / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

I Love My Husband

smile-40I love my husband. He drives me absolutely nuts most days, but yesterday he helped me keep the last bit of sanity I had left. He dealt with the insurance company for me!

I decided to join my husband’s insurance this year instead of having two separate insurance policies. So, when I started getting fertility drugs, I guess I did it under my old insurance. Now that I needed them under my husband’s insurance, they gave me a hard time and rejected the order.

Well, as you know, fertility treatments are very timely. You have a small window to work in and you need to take the drugs when they tell you too. Well, my angel of a husband made a few dozen calls between the doctor’s office, the mail order fertility pharmacy and the insurance company to make sure the drugs arrived by today.

This was wonderful for a number of reasons. First off, I began to immediately sob upon hearing that the insurance rejected the insurance to begin with and swore off anymore fertility treatments because they were jerks. Not only did he console me that night, but he offered to be the one to handle fixing the situation the next day. Also, I know that part of the reason why I’ve been crying so much has to do with said fertility drugs. Third, I didn’t have to worry about it because he handled it beautifully on his own.

Fertility treatments, while a big burden on the woman, is so much easier when your husband can take on some of that stress. It’s taken my husband a while to realize this, but he’s coming around. I would be a big heaping mess on the floor without him!

Photo credit: Toni Blay / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Love and Marraige

endless-love-14I love my husband, but he drives me nuts! I get very frustrated with him and have less patience for him than I do others. Maybe that’s because he’s an easy target living under the same roof from me. So, we decided to give marriage counseling a try to see if we could get a handle on things.

We’re going through a lot right now between being unable to conceive, doing fertility treatments and having fostered a baby while each balancing a career. I come home and share some of my work stories and he reciprocates, but that’s about the extent of the conversation.

I’m sure many wives feel like they aren’t heard, but I swear my husband doesn’t hear my voice as if I’m an adult on the Peanuts cartoon going “mwa, mwa, mwa.” I’ll tell him something and a day later he won’t have the slightest idea of what I’m talking about! If it wasn’t for the fact that I would tell him to get the baby up, feed him a bottle, put him down for a nap, give him a bath, etc., I don’t think he’d think to do them on his own. Don’t get me wrong, he was awesome with the baby, but he would need some reminders.

In the whole scheme of things, we get along really well and are very much in love. We’re just not very good at the feelings part on either end and how to express them productively. That thought is really weird since we’re both in careers where we need to have a lot of compassion, and pride ourselves on that fact. So, why can’t we act that way toward each other?

I’m sure it’s just one of those things that needs to be seen from a different perspective. If it looked at in a different light, when the real issues, like our infertility and loss of a foster child, are put out there, you can see where the underlying frustrations lie. It’s learning how to get past those and have more compassion for what we’re each going through separately.

I don’t know. I’m not a psychologist, so I guess we’ll find out in time. It’s something I would recommend for anyone who has to deal with any of these dirty thirty issues. I’ll let you know how it goes.

UPDATE: We did go to one counseling session, which was a good thing for both of us to get perspective. However, it’s just not going to fit into my schedule right now. So we are going to go to an infertility support group. See my latest post “How Are You Being Supported On Your Journey?”

Photo credit: Millzero Photography / Foter.com / CC BY-SA