Small Miracles

A few months back, we were all set to accept a newborn foster child into our home. I spent hours going through baby clothes, blankets, bottles and accessories to make sure we had all the gear in place for the little one’s arrival. However, the placement fell through for reasons unknown to us. I was devastated to say the least. However, all clouds have a silver lining because… I was “late.”

When I told my husband, he didn’t think much of it. We weren’t meant to have children of our own. We were given a 1% chance of conceiving and had already gone through fertility treatments with four rounds of IUIs that were unsuccessful. We had talked about IVF, but it was just too expensive, especi ally since I didn’t work for the past year. So, the possibility of pregnancy just wasn’t on our radar. The following week, I went and bought a pregnancy test and took it while Buddy was with his physical therapist. There was a very faint pink line! Could it be? Could I actually be pregnant? No. I didn’t want to believe it. We have tried for so long. It must have been a faulty test. I waited another week and tried again. Wouldn’t you know it really was positive!

I made an appointment with the doctor and went in to have a sonogram. The sonographer said, “how do you feel about two?” Two what? I still wasn’t convinced there could be a baby in there. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around it. “Two babies! You’re having twins!” I immediately started to cry tears of joy. My husband, watching the monitor in disbelief, was crying in pain at the thought of raising three children.

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Suddenly I started to get all the symptoms. Unbelievable bloating, morning sickness (aka all day sickness) and fatigue unlike anything I had ever felt before. My friend said to me that the first trimester is literally like climbing a mountain. You are doing all the work of creating another human being (or in my case two) and it’s taxing on your body. Then one day I had spotting. I went to the doctor and I was reassured by two little heart beats on the monitor. More tears of joy! About two weeks later, while I was cooking dinner I felt something warm down below. It looked like I murdered someone. My husband rushed me to the emergency room. My mom came to comfort me and help with Buddy. I just cried on her shoulder. It was most certainly a miscarriage. Then I saw the ultrasound and there were those two little babies with good heart beats, arms waving and legs kicking away!

It turns out that I have something called placenta previa. Basically the placenta is sitting right on top of my cervix and most likely sitting on a blood vessel where blood is pooling. The placenta has slowly been moving away as Baby A continues to grow. Worst case scenario, I will have a C-section. Not a big deal. I was on two weeks of bed rest before returning to work.

So, it was a rough first trimester! My mom said to me, “I told you pregnancy was stressful!” The thing is, I never thought I’d ever get pregnant, but nobody was handing out babies to me either! So, I’ll take every little hiccup that comes with these two little miracles. I’m 18 weeks along and am feeling good! I’m getting a belly on me and have felt a couple little flutters from them kicking. I’m technically due April 17, but they won’t let me go past 38 weeks, so more likely end of March, beginning of April.

I’ve gotten all kinds of questions from people: “Are they natural?” Yes, they’re not artificial! “Do twins run in your family?” No, I’m just old and this was my body’s last ditch effort at passing on my genes. “Are you still going to keep Buddy?” Yes, he’s our son.

People are so nosy when you’re pregnant, but it’s okay. I doubt it will stop once I have two little bundles. “Are they identical?” Probably not, they have separate placentas and sacs, but you don’t know for sure until after they’re born. “Did you want twins?” Well, I always thought it would be fun to have twins, but I didn’t exactly plan it!

People keep relaying stories to me of how the same thing happened to a friend of theirs. As soon as they’ve adopted or were on their way to adopt (as in our case) their child, they were able to relax and get pregnant. Maybe my story isn’t unique or exciting, but it’s my story and I’m looking forward to my happy ending. Buddy is going to be a big brother to twin sisters and I couldn’t be happier!

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A Buddy for Buddy

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In a little over two years (boy it seems longer!), we have gotten calls for 9 foster children and accepted three into our home. Yesterday was the first time we have been asked to foster a girl!

Let’s see… 1. A medically fragile child call during the night but was placed by the time we heard the message. 2. A 12 year old boy we took; which turned out not to be a good fit. 3. A boy who was a run away and truant in school that we declined since we were having enough problems with the current child. 4. A few months later we got a call for a newborn who ended up going with family before even being placed with us. 5. A three month old baby who stayed with us for six months. 6. A baby on respite, but two babies would have been too much. 7. After the baby went back to his parents we got a call for a three year old, but it was just too soon. 8. Our beloved Buddy. 9. The baby girl.

I started to wonder if there was something written in our file saying that we didn’t want girls or something, since we’ve never been asked to take one. We had been out running some errands when I saw that there was a message on my phone. It was Child and Family Services asking if we would take a baby girl for a few weeks. By the time I had called back, someone had already taken her. The worker asked if we were going to take her and I said I would have liked to ask a few question first. No, we most likely wouldn’t have taken her.

I know, that’s what we signed up for, to foster children, whether they stay or not. I don’t know what the circumstances were surrounding this child since someone already said they’d take her, but I think a baby would be too difficult for me to take into my home and then let go, no matter how long.

Today we went to Wendy’s for dinner so Mommy didn’t have to cook. There was another little boy Buddy’s age and he immediately gravitated toward Buddy and they wanted to play instead of eat. As we left, my husband said, “it’s too bad that we’re all strangers, it would be nice to set up a play date. It looked like that little boy could really use a friend.” Buddy chimes in, “Yeah, me too!” To which we both went, “Awwwwwww!!!”

As he gets older, I’m sure he’ll have many more little playmates from school. I’d love for Buddy to have another little brother or sister, but I don’t know how he would feel if we had another child in our home and then they had to go back into foster care. I know I wouldn’t do well.

Photo credit: mikebaird / Foter.com / CC BY