Trials & Tribulations

This was my first time ever going through a court trial. It’s a lot like you see on TV I guess, only not as big or exciting. It won’t be on the news, but it’s pretty meaningful to us.

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The TPR trial started with bio-mom making a fuss because she supposedly hadn’t been able to get ahold of her lawyer. She talked to him before the trial started, so the judge was less than sympathetic. The judge explained the options to her again. She could surrender her rights and get 2 pictures and letters a year, plead guilty and go to disposition, or have a trial and risk no communication at all. She of course, chose a trial.

The caseworker gave her testimony first. She’s awesome and very thorough, so that part was great. Then they called the director of the place where Buddy used to go for visits. That part was horrible. The girl who did the initial evaluation for visits with bio-mom, and the girl who conducted the visits, no longer work there, so they subpoenaed this woman, whose testimony was not good and pretty inaccurate. I don’t know why they even had her testify.

Bio-mom’s lawyer never went to DSS to review the case file and was fumbly and awkward. It was painful to listen to him whenever he opened his mouth. He kept making mistakes & there would be an objection or the judge would have to keep him on track. I almost felt bad.

Bio-mom testified next and dug her own grave. She said several times that she knows she didn’t do any of the things she was required to do and missed many visits. She said that Buddy was taken out from under her unjustly and that caused her to turn to drugs and alcohol (not accurate, but trying to get sympathy I guess.) She said she couldn’t remember many of the details from the last year and a half because of her drug use. She just kept going on and on digging her hole deeper and deeper until the judge finally spoke up and said she really said enough and needed to stop talking.

Then it was over. Now we wait some more.

They also needed to hold a permanency hearing, so they just started it and it will resume in a couple of weeks. I guess that’s when the judge will give her decision. If she finds bio-mom guilty, then we go on to disposition in August to determine what is in the best interest of Buddy. Being adopted by us of course!

If bio-mom is smart, she will surrender her rights at the permanency hearing so she can at least get the pictures and letters. But I know she won’t. She’s stubborn and disillusioned. It’s too bad.

Well, we’re in the home stretch. I’ll keep you updated.

Is it Fate or Coincidence?

Several months ago I got a call from DSS about a soon to be three-year-old boy who came into care. The worker went on to tell me all the challenges this little boy has and I thought it’d be too much for me to handle right now. It’s always difficult to turn down a child.

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A month or two later I got a call saying the same boy needed a new placement. The foster mom fell ill and was unable to care for him. I felt horrible turning him down again! Buddy is a follower (monkey see, monkey do!) and I was so afraid that I would have 2 little boys exhibiting negative behaviors and it’d be too much! Not to mention, Buddy needs a lot of attention and it sounded like this boy would need even more. That wouldn’t be fair to Buddy.

Last week, we attended a foster care appreciation dinner. We’ve never attended one before. We don’t need to be thanked or told we’re appreciated, but thought it was a good opportunity to get out and have a free dinner! Well, who sits next to me but the woman who took the little boy they called us for twice! She said how she actually just wanted to foster children and had no intention of adopting, but DSS was already talking adoption! While he does have many challenges, he’s very resilient and doing really well.

Is this a coincidence or is fate telling us that this little boy is meant to be in our lives in one way or another? We set up a play date and I’m excited to have another foster mom to talk to and it’ll be nice for Buddy to have a boy his age to play with.