Why?

I thought we had skipped over the “why?” stage because Buddy has been in the “what’s that?” Stage for at least 6 months now & I figured that pretty much covered it. Uh….no.

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The other day I hear my husband very patiently answer a half dozen why questions before he threw it the “because I said so!” Now it was my turn. Buddy will play with anything that has a character on it, it doesn’t matter if it’s a sticker, a pez dispenser or a plate. When he saw that he had a Spider-Man plate when his pancakes were finished he started to play with it. I told him no. “Why?” Buddy asks. Because it’s sticky. “Why?,” he retorts. Because we had maple syrup. “Why?” Because that’s what you put on pancakes. “Why?” This time I just stared at him. In a silly, mocking voice he says, “because I said so!” Ha!

So, I called my husband right up at work and said, “Guess what your son just said!” Now, whenever my husband gives that response it’s, “Because Mommy said so!” Gotta love it!

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One Year Ago Today…

One year ago today we opened our home and our hearts to a little man who has forever changed our world. Our Buddy came in with his bright blue eyes, long eye lashes and a head full of blonde curls. He immediately got out some toys and quietly began to play. We were smitten immediately.

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I didn’t think that I could ever foster again after the pain of losing a previous foster baby. Yet my heart longed for a child so badly that I was willing to risk the pain one last time. I’m so glad that we did. Buddy had already spent six months in the system with another family in another county, so he was half way through his year. We have had some rough moments, but there have been plenty of good and I know that it’s a combination of his past and just being three years old. Now, in 10 days we go back to court and hopefully bio-mom will sign the surrender and he will forever be ours.

I love you Buddy, and even though I think of you as my son already, I can’t wait for the day when it’s official and we can celebrate your adoption! Happy One Year Buddy!

My Love Has Attitude

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I was warned about the “three’s.” My friend said, “They are sooo much worse than the two’s, didn’t I tell you!” Buddy is all attitude! Holy cow!

Sometimes the hardest part about being a parent is keeping a straight face. I got this at the dinner table the other night: “PUT-MY-MILK-DOWN-RIGHT HERE!,” said in a very punctuated and matter-of-fact tone. Eye’s blinking, stifling a smirk, I said, “Don’t talk to your Mommy like that young man!”

Then, after my house was suddenly littered with toys, I told Buddy he needed to clean up and started singing the clean up song. “Don’t sing, don’t sing! I won’t clean up my toys, I don’t know how!” Yes, you do know how. You will clean up or we can give your toys to a little boy who doesn’t have any!

My husband was trying to talk to me about his stressful day. He travels for work and the roads were horrible. “Shhhh Daddy! You need to quiet down, I”m watching TV!” We can turn the TV off if it’s going to be an issue.

Another time, when we were at the grocery store, I let him play some of his games on my phone. “I HATE this game.” OK, then play something else. Again a few minutes later, “I HATE this game!” No problem, and the phone went back into my pocket much to his chagrin.

Of course there are plenty of sweet moments. The other day we went upstairs to use the bathroom. While I was washing my hands I heard a crinkling of a package. “What are you doing?,” I asked. “I have picnic Daddy’s snacks on your bed!”

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Then there was another day where he had my leopard-print snuggie wrapped around him. “Oooooo, I’m a scary ghost! Ooooo!” How can you not eat that kid up?!

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Anyway, despite the attitude (I’m really hoping it’s a phase), I love both of the men in my life with all my heart and am so grateful to have them as my Valentine’s.

Buddy love

The Waiting Game

I so wish you could see the expression on his face! This boy has swagger!

I so wish you could see the expression on his face! This boy has swagger!

Our TPR court date was postponed again. We don’t know why this time. The caseworker just got an email saying that the date was pushed back to March.

At our last home visit, she also told us that, even if bio-mom relinquished her rights, the adoption probably wouldn’t be finalized until around November (so much for my hope of summer). I figured it would happen right away. So much for what I know. I guess I can always keep my fingers crossed for a really efficient adoption caseworker.

I don’t know about other people, but my earliest memories in life are from when I was three years old. So, with Buddy turning 3, I just want all this to be over for him. I want him to have happy memories. I don’t want him to remember jail visits and having anxiety from different workers coming to the house. I just want him to be “our” kid and not a “foster” kid.

We also found out that bio-mom’s felony charges were reduced to misdemeanors and her sentencing is running concurrently, so she won’t get more time. What that teaches her; I don’t know. It made me sick to my stomach, but it is what it is.

The most ironic thing has been the visits. I was really upset when this program started, and now he’s only had to go once and we got a different worker! So, things have really worked out in our favor as far as all that stuff is concerned. Which is great! How crazy is it that we have had snow days on 3 separate visits (the program follows the school districts)?! Fingers crossed, the last scheduled visit can be a good bye visit and we’ll be done!

We have a call in to Buddy’s lawyer asking him to persuade bio-mom’s lawyer to go talk to her about relinquishing her rights. The caseworker said that her lawyer is lazy and probably wouldn’t see her until five minutes before court started. Buddy’s lawyer is awesome and said that he’d do whatever he could to help the process, so we’re hoping he has some influence.

So, more waiting until next month.

Super Birthday

ImageLast weekend was a special one for us all. It was Buddy’s 3rd birthday and the first one we’ve gotten to celebrate with him. We decorated the dining room with a big Avengers backdrop. There were Spider-man balloons and a banner that said Happy 3rd Birthday. I made a big 3 and decorated it in red, white and blue. Silver spirals hung from the ceiling with dangling stars.

ImageI made him a shirt with his name and superheroes inside a big 3, with a cape (see pics). I requested that everyone wear a Superhero shirt if they had one to go along with our theme. Buddy always calls me Wonder Woman and I actually found a shirt (with a cape, he, he!) on sale at Walmart. Daddy was Batman (of course, that’s his favorite). My sister outfitted the whole family with super shirts; it was awesome!

ImageBuddy requested green frosting for his cupcakes that he brought to daycare the day before. I decorated them with Spider-man faces and wrappers. They played birthday games and sang to him. We invited some friends to the bounce house and played for a couple of hours. He jumped, ran, maneuvered through obstacles and went down the slide to his heart’s content. Then we all came back to the house for pizza and salad and a chocolate (his request) Avenger’s cake. Still not understanding how presents work exactly, he came into the room singing Jingle Bells thinking that Santa had brought him his birthday gifts. We got him a train set and a play set that’s interchangeable with a workbench, school desk or kitchen. He got lots of super heroes and more. It was a great day.

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