A Buddy for Buddy

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In a little over two years (boy it seems longer!), we have gotten calls for 9 foster children and accepted three into our home. Yesterday was the first time we have been asked to foster a girl!

Let’s see… 1. A medically fragile child call during the night but was placed by the time we heard the message. 2. A 12 year old boy we took; which turned out not to be a good fit. 3. A boy who was a run away and truant in school that we declined since we were having enough problems with the current child. 4. A few months later we got a call for a newborn who ended up going with family before even being placed with us. 5. A three month old baby who stayed with us for six months. 6. A baby on respite, but two babies would have been too much. 7. After the baby went back to his parents we got a call for a three year old, but it was just too soon. 8. Our beloved Buddy. 9. The baby girl.

I started to wonder if there was something written in our file saying that we didn’t want girls or something, since we’ve never been asked to take one. We had been out running some errands when I saw that there was a message on my phone. It was Child and Family Services asking if we would take a baby girl for a few weeks. By the time I had called back, someone had already taken her. The worker asked if we were going to take her and I said I would have liked to ask a few question first. No, we most likely wouldn’t have taken her.

I know, that’s what we signed up for, to foster children, whether they stay or not. I don’t know what the circumstances were surrounding this child since someone already said they’d take her, but I think a baby would be too difficult for me to take into my home and then let go, no matter how long.

Today we went to Wendy’s for dinner so Mommy didn’t have to cook. There was another little boy Buddy’s age and he immediately gravitated toward Buddy and they wanted to play instead of eat. As we left, my husband said, “it’s too bad that we’re all strangers, it would be nice to set up a play date. It looked like that little boy could really use a friend.” Buddy chimes in, “Yeah, me too!” To which we both went, “Awwwwwww!!!”

As he gets older, I’m sure he’ll have many more little playmates from school. I’d love for Buddy to have another little brother or sister, but I don’t know how he would feel if we had another child in our home and then they had to go back into foster care. I know I wouldn’t do well.

Photo credit: mikebaird / Foter.com / CC BY

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Small Blessings

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Yesterday was our TPR hearing. We were told not to expect much. It would be to just go over paperwork and schedule a date for the trial.

For some reason bio-mom wasn’t brought over from the jail. Then she was given a back-up attorney because hers was away on National Guard Duty. So, then after the paperwork was in order, the judge said bio-mom should be there with her attorney. So she rescheduled for next month.

The judge asked us if we had any questions and I asked if that was the trial date and she said no. It’s basically a re-do. So it seemed like a complete waste of time. One nice thing was that Buddy’s lawyer made a really nice comment to the judge. He said he thinks his client is just where he needs to be for a very long time.

Afterward we talked with the caseworker and she said that she talked to bio-mom on Christmas Eve and she asked her what she should do about the TPR! The caseworker couldn’t come right out and say that she should relinquish her rights, but she told her that they had a really solid case against her. They offered her numerous services and chances and she did nothing. She needed to talk to her lawyer. They offered her lawyer one picture and letter a year if she agreed to give up her rights. Buddy’s lawyer said that he’d do whatever he could to get her to sign them over.

By the time the next court date comes around, bio-mom will have been sentenced for her felony charges as well. That will most likely tack some time onto her June release date.

So, while we’re going nowhere fast and these court dates are always very draining, I felt semi-positive that bio-mom is finally looking out for Buddy’s best interest.

I can’t imagine what it feels like to give up a child. I haven’t wanted to think about that side of things. I wish we could have gotten to know her better so that she could know us better. Unfortunately that was never possible. Maybe jail really has been good for her and she’s had a lot of time to think about the choices she’s made in her life. I hope that, if anything, she will feel good in knowing that she’ll be doing the right thing for Buddy.

Hopefully Feb. 3rd will be a very good day!

Photo credit: symphony of love / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

A Very Avengers Christmas

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The holidays were a whirlwind, but very nice. Buddy had a blast opening presents. He was so cute with paper flying everywhere!

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We took a lot of really nice pictures with our new DSLR camera (Combined Christmas gift from my family & ourselves). It was a very Avengers Christmas & Buddy was spoiled rotten by Santa. He just couldn’t help it with it being our first Christmas together and all! Buddy also enjoyed playing with cousins and seeing the grandparents.

Buddy does best when he is busy, so we have been playing with his new toys and I have been Wonder Woman (it sounds more like Wubby Wubby when he says it).

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We got outside and played in the snow before all this crazy cold hit us. Buddy enjoys being outside no matter what the weather is like. I was bound and determined to make a snowman despite the very fine and powdery consistency of the snow. So, since it wouldn’t roll into a ball, I ended up just making a big pile and shaping it into a snowman as best as I could. It ended up looking more like Cartman from South Park than a snowman, but Mission Accomplished!! Hubby pulled him around the yard in his sled.

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We took him to see Lights on the Lake. You get to drive through the park at night and they have Holiday light displays set up all along the way. Buddy liked it but really wanted to get out of the car, so he was a little frustrated.

20140108-013907.jpgSo what happens when he’s not busy? He gets into trouble of course!

Yesterday at Target, while I was checking out, he grabbed a brick of cheese out of the bag and started to eat it while I wasn’t looking. He handed me the piece of plastic with perfect little bite marks! I couldn’t believe it. He said, “I’m hungry!” I said, “then ask Mommy for a snack. You know I have fruit snacks and peanuts in my purse.” He said, “I wanted cheese!”

Then I caught him underneath my husband’s desk as I was cleaning out cat litter boxes. I said, “what are you doing under there?” “Hiding,” he said. “What do you have?” I asked. “Scissors, I’m cutting my hair!” Luckily they were nail scissors, so not much came off & luckily he didn’t hurt himself.

20140108-015700.jpgBuddy also decided that he didn’t want Mommy’s songs at bedtime anymore. He wants to sing superhero songs. So he makes up a song about superheroes and then I make up a song about superheroes. It gets him more worked up than the nursery rhyme type songs I usually sing, but he enjoys it so much that I don’t think there is any going back.

Make sure to check back soon, I have a little bit of news on the TPR!