Surgery, Court & Jail Visits = Fun Times or Something


My surgery went well. It turned out that my Lapband did slip and the skin that they put over it to keep it in place had ripped. So it was a good thing I got the surgery after all.

I ended up spending the night, which was not cool at all. I ended up with a roommate that moaned, groaned and coughed incessantly despite saying she was not in any pain. Lucky me!
The cool thing was that a PA came in the room around 8am and said I could go home if I ate a good breakfast and tolerated it okay. I was starving! They had a menu and you order food like room service! I had a ham and cheddar omelet, home fried potatoes and apple juice. It all went down so easy! Then hubby came and picked me up. I was so thankful to go home and sleep in my own bed!

The rescheduled permanency hearing for Buddy was pretty uneventful except that bio-mom got to meet with her lawyer for the first time right before court started and she just lied up a storm. She said that she has everything in place to take Buddy home when she gets out of jail: place to live, clothes and supplies. I wanted to ask her what size he wears so bad! She was homeless last I knew, with no job, so it’s just so hard to sit there and listen to her distorted view of reality. I don’t know why she thinks she’s getting him back when she gets out. She still has to take parenting classes, get a psychological evaluation, take anger management classes and I’m not sure if she’d still have to do rehab or not.
Court lasted all of 10 minutes.

Yesterday I got some pretty upsetting news after I got home from my surgery. Bio-mom applied for this program that they call Headstart (not the preschool). It’s a time for her to spend about an hour to an hour and a half with Buddy twice a month and get parenting lessons. First off, we were told that she probably wouldn’t qualify for it since TPR is scheduled for January 7th. Then, not only does she qualify, but we have to take him to the jail twice a month and the Headstart people want to come to our house and meet with us twice a month on top of the monthly visit we already do with social services. So, five times a month I’m either going to jail or entertaining people in my home because she got locked up! Hopefully we don’t still have to do the regular jail visit too! It’s so not fair to us or Buddy. I’m also sure my husband’s job is going to love him taking all that time off! Buddy has night terrors again and his attitude is horrible since she’s been back in his life. It upsets me so much I’m not going to talk about it anymore.

My husband said that we just need to play the game until TPR. The thing is that bio-mom is not going to sign over her parental rights on the 7th, she’s going to make them go to trial, which will drag things out longer and she’ll still get her time with him.

So, what I am going to think about is the fact that Thanksgiving is this week and I can enjoy a nice dinner with my family! Last year when my dad asked us what we were thankful for, I was in tears because I knew that the foster baby we had was going to go back to his parents soon. Now we have Buddy with us and we’re pretty sure he’s here to stay. I’m so thankful to have him, my amazing husband and a wonderful and supportive family.


2 thoughts on “Surgery, Court & Jail Visits = Fun Times or Something

  1. Its amazing the stories they roll out to their attorneys. The good thing is, that if they are appointed, the attorney (or ones they work with) have more than likely heard it all. Anytime I got concerned about my kiddos and their bios relationship with their attorney, I just prayed for God’s path to be able to come through for the kids. And eventually, the attorney would say something uncensored with me nearby. With Dude, the bio mom’s attorney actually went off on bio mom IN the trail’s closing statements, and the state was concerned they were actually trying to start the case for the baby that was on the way right then and there!

    I cannot imagine going through visits to court…but on the finalized adopted side of view, with all that you go through with visits and court hoops, you can truly look at the child you end up with at the end of things and let them know that you not only wanted them, but you fought for them. And now, I have so much information on the parents, their behaviors, and due to easedropping, know health info that has enabled me to have all kinds of background for the docs and for school.

    I’ll keep you in thoughts and prayers through the holidays. Just stay strong and talk it all out with hubby…and reward yourself when you have to have these tough visits and days. Goodness knows I made plenty of mad dashes to Sonic for my cream slush every time I had to deal with the hoops! Of course, Buddy will appreciate positive reinforcement, and knowing you all are there for him, regardless…and hopefully prayers will be answered and he will find stability soon. But maybe he’d jump in for a milk shake now and then, too. 🙂 God Bless you all!

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