Surgery, Court & Jail Visits = Fun Times or Something

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My surgery went well. It turned out that my Lapband did slip and the skin that they put over it to keep it in place had ripped. So it was a good thing I got the surgery after all.

I ended up spending the night, which was not cool at all. I ended up with a roommate that moaned, groaned and coughed incessantly despite saying she was not in any pain. Lucky me!
The cool thing was that a PA came in the room around 8am and said I could go home if I ate a good breakfast and tolerated it okay. I was starving! They had a menu and you order food like room service! I had a ham and cheddar omelet, home fried potatoes and apple juice. It all went down so easy! Then hubby came and picked me up. I was so thankful to go home and sleep in my own bed!

The rescheduled permanency hearing for Buddy was pretty uneventful except that bio-mom got to meet with her lawyer for the first time right before court started and she just lied up a storm. She said that she has everything in place to take Buddy home when she gets out of jail: place to live, clothes and supplies. I wanted to ask her what size he wears so bad! She was homeless last I knew, with no job, so it’s just so hard to sit there and listen to her distorted view of reality. I don’t know why she thinks she’s getting him back when she gets out. She still has to take parenting classes, get a psychological evaluation, take anger management classes and I’m not sure if she’d still have to do rehab or not.
Court lasted all of 10 minutes.

Yesterday I got some pretty upsetting news after I got home from my surgery. Bio-mom applied for this program that they call Headstart (not the preschool). It’s a time for her to spend about an hour to an hour and a half with Buddy twice a month and get parenting lessons. First off, we were told that she probably wouldn’t qualify for it since TPR is scheduled for January 7th. Then, not only does she qualify, but we have to take him to the jail twice a month and the Headstart people want to come to our house and meet with us twice a month on top of the monthly visit we already do with social services. So, five times a month I’m either going to jail or entertaining people in my home because she got locked up! Hopefully we don’t still have to do the regular jail visit too! It’s so not fair to us or Buddy. I’m also sure my husband’s job is going to love him taking all that time off! Buddy has night terrors again and his attitude is horrible since she’s been back in his life. It upsets me so much I’m not going to talk about it anymore.

My husband said that we just need to play the game until TPR. The thing is that bio-mom is not going to sign over her parental rights on the 7th, she’s going to make them go to trial, which will drag things out longer and she’ll still get her time with him.

So, what I am going to think about is the fact that Thanksgiving is this week and I can enjoy a nice dinner with my family! Last year when my dad asked us what we were thankful for, I was in tears because I knew that the foster baby we had was going to go back to his parents soon. Now we have Buddy with us and we’re pretty sure he’s here to stay. I’m so thankful to have him, my amazing husband and a wonderful and supportive family.

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Before and After

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When I got married I was 70 lbs. heavier. I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pre-diabetes, hypothyroidism and PCOS. I knew that if I wanted to have a family that I needed to get healthy STAT. I had been heavy all of my life and I knew that I couldn’t lose weight the regular way, so I opted for weight reduction surgery. Both my GP and my surgeon said that gastric bypass was the way to go. However, that would put me out of work, I wouldn’t be able to try to get pregnant for three years and having my stomach cut out seemed too drastic. So, I opted for Lapband surgery instead. My cousin had good results with it, there was less risk and less recovery time. I could also get try to get pregnant whenever I wanted.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years and I no longer have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or pre-diabetes. Unfortunately I still wasn’t able to get pregnant and the Lapband has given me so many problems that it has to come out on Thursday. I’m pretty bummed about it. While I have achieved some success, I still have a good 60 lbs. to lose. My husband went for the gastric bypass earlier in the year and looks amazing! He’s lost over 100 lbs. I’ve gone through vomiting, regurgitation, acid reflux, bile come out my nose at night, coughing fits that hurt my chest, etc. It’s gotten to the point that when I had an Upper GI done last week, no barium went past my band at all. That’s with them having taken out all the fluid in the band the day before. My esophagus just isn’t handling it very well.

When I talked to the surgeon afterwards, he said he’d take the band out that night. I thought that was a little drastic, so they put it off a week. I was hoping for a couple of months. I’m just afraid of gaining all of the weight back. I’ve given away all of my fat clothes. As it is I have gained 30 lbs. since April (I had originally lost 100 lbs. total). I do take steps to watch my weight. I walk the dog every day. We eat on dessert sized plates instead of dinner plates. I always choose “light” options. We don’t eat out as much anymore. I’m using the My Fitness Pal App again to keep track of my intake. I might join the gym again, but hate to spend the money when I’m not working. I’m just bummed that I went through all this only for it to fail. The surgeon said that they no longer put Lapbands in because it has only a 9% success rate. Most people end up having it taken out after a few years.

I’d like to get the gastric bypass operation that my husband had such great results with. However, there are a few problems with that. I have to switch surgeons for insurance reasons and I can’t get a consultation until February. I had a job interview yesterday and am hoping to get a job soon (fingers crossed) which would put the surgery off until the summer. My BMI is under 35 which is the cut off point for insurance companies when you want to get gastric bypass done, but sometimes the surgeon will write a letter to help persuade them. Then there is the whole pregnancy issue.

Two weeks ago we renewed our foster care certification. We said we would be interested in another little girl or boy so that Buddy could have a brother or sister. However, the system is so daunting that I really don’t know if I want to go through another couple years of that. But, if it’s our only choice, then I guess I have to do what I have to do.

TPR is all set, just waiting for a court date.

Rescheduled permanency hearing is tomorrow.

Here is us now. Isn’t my hubby handsome!

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