Babies Behind Bars


A couple of posts ago I mentioned that Buddy’s bio-mom resurfaced and is back in our lives (see it here). She made a deal with the court to go to inpatient rehab instead of jail. Well, that didn’t last long.

I’m not even sure if she was in there for a full two weeks before she screwed up. I was told that there are only two ways to get out of rehab: get into a fight or have a relative that’s also in. Well, she found a loop hole, because she did #3: say you’re sick. She was sent to the hospital and it apparently was not the hospital she requested, so they discharged her. She didn’t check in with the rehab facility, so they issued a warrant for her arrest. Instead of turning herself in, she ran.

Needless to say, she found herself back in jail. Now she has to serve a year and has more charges pending. What does this mean for us and Buddy? He gets to visit her in jail once a month.

Now, I have no experience with jail, so I looked up how visits are conducted. I initially wanted to go with Buddy for the visit, but my husband is going with the caseworker instead (more on that in the next post). I will go to the jail, sit in the waiting room and be there for him before and after the visit. Buddy and bio-mom can only have a quick kiss and hug at the beginning and end of the visit, there is no contact allowed besides that. He has to sit on my husband’s lap during the entire visit. Now, he’s a very busy and active two-year-old. How is this going to work? I’m sure he’ll probably sit the first time because he’ll be scared out of his mind. I guess her face is covered in spiky piercings now, so that alone will do it, not to mention the weird, new place that he has to go to. After that, good luck getting him to sit still for longer than five minutes.

I’m assuming that bio-mom will probably be at the court hearings now as well. The TPR was filed on October 1 and all the paperwork should be ready for court to be scheduled by the end of the month. Before she went to jail, I figured we’d get Buddy by default because she wouldn’t show up. Now, she’ll have people to remind her of her upcoming court dates and it’s a good excuse to get out of jail for the day. She also has a lawyer. I’m 90% sure that Buddy will be ours, but it will probably be drawn out because I’m sure she’ll appeal if her rights are taken away.

Buddy knows that something is up. I’ve mentioned before that he’s very intuitive. He bites at his fingers and occasionally grinds his teeth during the day. Now he’s screaming at night. No, not crying, but a real scream, while he’s sleeping. Now just imagine what’s going to happen with him once the visits start. Think of my little guy next Monday when he visits jail.


6 thoughts on “Babies Behind Bars

    • Thank you! It’s been a whirlwind lately. Thanks for the offer of advice, but at this point I just need to vent more than anything. Please feel free to follow me and I just started following you!

  1. Lisa, You are always in my thoughts. Buddy will be fine because he has an awesome Daddy and Mommy with him during this crazy time in his life. Hats off to both of you.

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