Getting Closer to the Freakin Forties than Dirty Thirties!


Today is my 30th, sigh… 38th birthday and I am feeling old. I always get annoyed with tease my husband for his horrible hearing. He is 8 years older than me after all, so it’s my duty as his wife; but sometimes he’ll just make things up because he doesn’t hear what is being said. My grandmother (God rest her soul) used to do this as well, but she had a right to as a senior citizen!

For instance, I know 2 year olds don’t have the best pronunciation, but I feel that I understand about 90% of what Buddy says, unlike my husband who gets maybe half. One day Buddy starts talking about the “Poop Guy.” I said, “where the heck did he get that from?” My husband said that’s what he’s calling bad guys and blames me for telling him poop is bad. I said, I told him that touching poop is bad, how is that my fault? Well, the other day we watched the movie “Meet the Robinsons” and he says, “Boo Guy, Boo Guy!” He was trying to say Boulder Hat Guy! So, it took a little investigating to figure out that it was Boo and not Poop. Sooo not my fault!

Then the other day we brought Buddy to see the new “Despicable Me 2” movie. We weren’t sure how he’d do, but we went to a matinee. Hubby told the ticket guy that we needed three tickets. I clarified and said two adults and one child. The ticket guy asked how old Buddy was and I replied that he’s two. The ticket guy said, “he’s three.” I said, with a little bit of attitude, “no, he’s two (are you questioning how old my child is mister?).” Again he said, “he’s three.” I said, “Three dollars?” The guy speaks up and enunciates, “Nooo, he is FRREEE!!” I sheepishly lowered my head and said “oh,” followed by “I’m sorry.” I felt like such a jerk and so old. The guy was probably thinking to himself, “turn up your hearing aid lady!”

Then yesterday Buddy was watching the Avengers cartoon and I was doing some research on the computer. He comes in, half behind a blue pillow in his hand and says what sounds like, “I’m Coffee Maker!” My husband asks, “What did he say?” I questioningly replied, “The Coffee Maker?” Then it dawned on me, Captain America! He’s Captain America and the pillow is his shield! Gotcha! Poor kid with two old ass parents!


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