I will never claim to be mother of the year. Being a mom is a relatively new experience for me. I second guess myself all the time because of my own insecurities. I also don’t want to screw up Buddy anymore than he has been in his two short years. However, when other people put me down for choices I’ve made, it’s like a slap to the face. It makes me question who I am and what my place is in life.
No two children are alike. They all move at their own pace and rhythm. I started potty training Buddy because the doctor suggested that it may be the reason why he was getting backaches. It turns out that it was. We have had some setbacks. He doesn’t always like to use the potty at home. He will whine and get off, despite daily sticker rewards, a matchbox truck after 7 successes and a trip to Chuck E Cheese after 28 successes. He’s peed on my bedroom floor. He’s peed in my husband’s new slippers. He even peed in the nightstand. What I say to Buddy is, “we don’t pee on the floor. We only pee in the potty.” Then I spray some cleaner and give him a paper towel to clean it up. Do I expect Buddy to do an immaculate job? No, I just want him to know that it’s not acceptable to do what he did. Yes, he’s only two. I also expect Buddy to pick up his toys with help, put his clothes in the hamper and put his dishes in the sink. He can do it, he’s very independent and he likes to help.
What I don’t appreciate is when other people, who think that, since they’ve already raised their boys, or they’ve gone through whatever, think they can tell me what to do. I was told that he’s too young to be potty trained and by starting him so early, he’ll be a bed wetter. Well, guess what? Buddy must have heard this because he stayed dry through the night! He woke up at 3:30am. He was still dry, so I asked him if he had to go potty and he did. When I got him up at 7:30, he was still dry!
I know I am new to motherhood and I’ll make mistakes, but I have been a babysitter and a teacher and an aunt. I read info online. I’m not a dummy! I’m open to suggestions. I run things by my friends all the time. That’s how I found out that if I give Buddy a small snack before bed that he’ll sleep through the night much easier.
I TRY MY BEST!! I look back on days that haven’t gone well and I think about what I could have done differently because it’s a learning process. I also have to look at things from a different perspective since he’s a child in care and I haven’t had him since day one. I don’t tell other people how to raise their kids. They also haven’t gone through what I’ve gone through. This is my third foster child! Losing the last one was like death. I wish I could be a stay at home mom. I wish I could have kids of own. But I can’t. I’ve had to do things differently, so let me and back off.