It’s not a question people think of asking, but it’s good to know you’re not alone. When I look at other blogs online, I see women who DID have fertility issues, but now have children. Or, women who have decided to be childfree. Women who adopted, etc. I couldn’t find a good blog about a thirty-something woman actively trying and going through this whole infertility process. That’s one of the reasons why I created this blog, because I felt like there had to be someone else out there who could relate to me.
I initially mentioned going to counseling, but that wasn’t going to work out with my schedule. So, we went to a support group yesterday for people who are going through infertility issues. What really surprised me was that it wasn’t all twenty somethings. They were people in their 30, 40s and older, from all walks of life, with a variety of reasons why they couldn’t get pregnant! There was one woman who had 8 IUIs and another that had 8 IVFs (she must have good insurance!). There was even another man there besides my husband. Infertility is ubiquitous (one of my student’s vocab words today, had to use it in a sentence) and it knows no boundaries and happens for no good reason sometimes. It was interesting to have others relate to me and to hear their stories.
I was afraid that this group was either going to be a bunch of women bitching and complaining or a bunch of sob stories. While there was some of both, it wasn’t all consuming. Let’s face it, all of our stories are sad and we’re on hormones, so we have a right to be bitchy! I did feel like I took something positive away from it and that I contributed to others. It’s something I’d like to do again and I’m glad it was a good experience for my husband and me.
It’s really important for people to not feel alone. Yes, I have very supportive friends and family, but they’re not walking in my shoes. Having someone who can actually relate to my situation alleviates a lot of stress and gives me a different perspective on things. I feel alone a lot, between being the only special ed teacher in my school, being a foster parent, going through infertility issues, etc. So anytime I can find someone who really KNOWS what it’s like, it really does make a difference and makes me feel a little bit better about things.