Oh Jealousy

VLUU L100, M100  / Samsung L100, M100When I used to go to the fertility doctor and my husband would bring our foster baby, I could feel the sneers and stares as if other people were saying, “why is she here, she already has a baby.” One time a nurse asked me who’s baby it was, knowing that it couldn’t possibly have been mine.

I must admit that when I go to the grocery store or to the mall, I look at pregnant women or women with kids in a snide way. Why were they able to get pregnant and I’m going through all this trouble? I will park in the “expectant mom” parking space if there is nothing else free just to dare someone to question me. I guess I can be a bitch sometimes with a, “why them and not me?” mentality.

I recently just found out that a friend of mine, who is also a foster parent, just got a set of newborn twin girls right from the hospital. The birth mother has had 10 other children, all of whom have been previously adopted. So, there’s a good chance that these kids will also be free for adoption eventually. I congratulated her and wished her and her husband luck. What a wonderful opportunity!

I am happy for her. I do hope it turns out for her, but yes, I still want to cry. I think it’s okay to have a pity party once in a while.

On a positive note, I’m getting inseminated on Monday! I have 4 good sized follicles. Hopefully, it will go well.

Photo credit: mdanys / Foter.com / CC BY


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