Sometimes My Heart is Bigger Than My Brain

cute-baby-2Since I am a teacher, I had Martin Luther King Jr. Day off and celebrated by relaxing at home surrounded by my kitties. When a call came in from a blocked caller, I assumed it was my husband calling from his work phone, but it was CPS (Child Protective Services).

I couldn’t help but hope that they were calling to see if we would take our foster baby back. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. They had a 3 year old in the hospital that needed to be placed. They had no other information on him. I said that I would have to call her back.

I called my husband and let him know about the call. We had said before that we didn’t want to be foster parents again; it was too much of an emotional roller coaster and hoops to jump through… but there was a child who needed us. We had sold our bunk beds that we had from our first foster child and only had a crib, so I’d have to go out and buy a bed or see if maybe my sister had one. Then we’d have to go buy him some toys and some clothes… wait a minute!

We had to stop and use our brains a little bit here. We’re still very raw from our last foster baby. It would be great to take care of another child, but a 3 year old is much different than a 7 month old. A 3 year old is going to be high energy and running around the house. I don’t know how the dog would react. We have baby stuff,not toddler stuff. I’d have to find a daycare or a preschool. I’d probably have to take time off from work and I don’t have anymore days left from all the times the baby was sick. Not to mention, it’s going to be another child we’d grow attached to that would be taken away from us eventually. We had to say no.

So, I called the lady back and said that because our emotions were still running so high with our last foster baby, we’d have to pass at this time, but if they weren’t able to place him anywhere else, we would make arrangements to take him. She never called me back.

I’m glad I was able to say no, even though it was a hard thing to do. My husband Matt and I need to still grieve and heal our wounds over the baby. We need time just for ourselves and enjoy each others company for a while.

Photo credit: Abdulmajeed Al.mutawee || twitter.com/almutawee / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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